In The Shadows

In The Shadows

In the shadows,
I stand there,
Not being perceived,
In the shadows,
Going nowhere,
With nothing achieved.
In the shadows,
I am hushed,
Not making a sound,
In the shadows,
I’m crushed,
Into the ground.
In the shadows,
Of society,
I’m a recluse,
In the shadows,
So silently,
Not letting loose.
In the shadows,
I’m isolated,
Observing all,
In the shadows,
Frustrated,
I begin to fall.
In the shadows,
Deserted,
Feeling ignored,
In the shadows,
Alerted,
And not adored.
In the shadows,
I explore,
Without a voice,
In the shadows,
Forever more,
Without a choice.
In the shadows,
My life,
Has become,
In the shadows,
My life,
Since it begun.

A poem by Corey Booth

Twitter – @CoreyPoetry

Depression

Depression

Not wanting to live,
But not wanting to die,
Drowning in your own thoughts,
And wanting to cry.
Very low spirited,
Day after day,
Not being able to sleep,
When in bed you lay.
Irritable and impatient,
Feeling full of despair,
Even when you awake,
You’re in a nightmare.
Distancing yourself from others,
And finding it difficult to speak,
Thinking what is the point?
As the future seems bleak.
Wanting to self harm,
Battling with anxiety,
Listening to repetitive thoughts,
While sitting there so silently.
Tired with no energy,
You cant cope with the stress,
You cant make no decisions,
As your mind is a mess.
One in five get depression,
So alone you are not,
And you will get through it,
Even if your mind says you cannot.

A Poem By Corey Booth . . 🙂
Twitter – @CoreyPoetry

Sinister

Sinister

Look inside my soul,
At the demons that lie within,
Look inside my soul,
I’m willing to let you in.
Peer at the carnage,
That lies deep inside,
Peer at the carnage,
That can’t be justified.
Gaze at my ghost,
And see my sinister past,
Gaze at my ghost,
And see how long you last.
Glare through those angel eyes,
At the slaughter I’ve applied,
Glare through those angel eyes,
At the darkness I provide.
Glimpse within my body,
At the hellfire in my veins,
Glimpse within my body,
At the demons it contains.
How are you going to feel,
When you snoop inside my mind?
How are you going to feel,
About the corruption you will find?
As a person you will change,
When you observe this inner gore,
As a person you will change,
With this misery you cant ignore.
You will never be the same,
When you see what I have done,
You will never be the same,
These sins cannot be undone.

A poem by Corey Booth 12/07/13 …… 🙂
Twitter – @CoreyPoetry

Some Days… -My Life #3

SOME DAYS……

Having a conversation,
I’m the only one talking,
Embodied in a war,
In my mind it’s fought in.
Asking questions to myself,
Answered then unanswered,
Decided then undecided,
Right,left, always divided.
Anxious about being anxious,
Paranoid about being paranoid,
Depressed about being depressed,
Stressed about being stressed.
Questioning my questions,
Thinking of thinking,
Overthinking as the thoughts sink in,
Now I feel as if I am sinking.
This becomes more troublesome,
Not all understand as it only troubles some.
I guess some days,
Are better than some days,
And I hope someday,
The thoughts will go away,
Maybe one day…..

A Poem By Corey Booth 03/10/16
Follow @CoreyPoetry on Twitter 🙂

One Life, One Chance,

CoreyPonders

One Life, One Chance !

You have one life, one chance,
To let dreams become reality,
It looks difficult at first glance,
So you need to change your mentality,

The journey is the reward,
Life is not over until its over,
Every idea needs to be explored,
You are your own four leaf clover,

Where there’s a will there’s a way,
Giving up is for the weak,
Seize the moment and capture the day,
And be your biggest critique,

Pain is just weakness leaving the body,
What don’t kill you just makes you stronger,
Head held high when things get rocky,
Plan and prepare for even longer,

You are built not to shrink down,
But to blossom into more,
Turn any negative around,
And come back more forceful than before,

An obstacle is often a stepping stone,
Which the toughest will get past,
Not scared to fight the unknown,
They…

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Loose Term

Loose Term

“This music is making me depressed”,
“This film is making me depressed,
“There’s nothing to do, I’m so depressed”,
“This writing is making me depressed”….

People say to me,
“What you write is Emo”,
What that really means though,
Even though the words ain’t alive,
I actually make it seem so.
When they say that though,
It makes me proud of the words I’ve put on the shelf,
I’m putting my pen to paper,
While conquering the inner evil that lurks inside myself,
People can actually feel the story,
Even though it has no health…

Lets just remember,
These are the people,
Who have never suffered with the term,
And even though they think they know the true meaning,
They have never felt it’s true burn..
I guess what I’m trying to say,
People who make these remarks,
Are the people who have never been depressed,
So I understand what they are saying,
While hoping they never get that demon as a guest…

A poem by Corey Booth – 21/03/16

Follow me on Twitter 🙂 – @CoreyPoetry

The Hiatus – My Life #2

The Hiatus – My Life#2

They say keep your enemies close,
My enemies my mind so we can’t get any closer,
Why can’t we just become friends,
Everyday I hope for this grudge ends…
I’m nearly 24, with nothing to show for it,
Another year passes with nothing to show for it,
Medical issues making me crazy,
life I’ve had enough of it,
If I had the bottle to get rid of it,
I’d be 6 foot under and loving it.
No friends acknowledge me,
My own family doesn’t even acknowledge me,
This makes it even harder for me.

I wish I can put their eyes in my brain,
So they can see my pain,
Understand what I’m going though,
And never leave my side again.
But that’s not possible,
Damn right impossible,
This mental state has taken me to the hospital.
Anxiety got my heart wanting to explode,
This shouldn’t be happening to a 24 year old,
But I bet you will all talk my name when my body implodes…
Medical issues.
Financial Issues,
Mental issues,
Social issues,
God pass me some tissues..
To whipe away all these problems,
I don’t mind being a stand out,
I ain’t asking to be regular,
Just take away the anguish,
Please I’m on my knees begging ya..
If you lived a day in my head,
You would come out scared,
Vision impaired,
Thinking when you got to take your next med,
Hoping the next day never comes as you lay in bed,
Thoughts function in your head saying you’re better off dead..
Somehow I’m still here fighting and unwinnable war,
Maybe it’s family I’m doing this for,
So I’m just going to keep taking every
Bullet, stab and blow,
And keep praying it will all come together as I grow…..

I take back what I said,
I can’t take the strain,
Any bit of faith I had left,
I no longer retain,
I’m playing a game with life,
And with these cards that I’m dealt,
I must be playing with the devil,
Because his fire is making me melt.
Because this agony won’t stop,
It’s got a hold on me,
I guess my soul ain’t as reinforced as I thought I would be,
And if I don’t wake up tomorrow,
That would be a present for me…

 

I wrote this while going though a terrible period of depression, the gaps between the writing represent when then got wrote, I didn’t take any note of the dates while writing, I hope you can understand why I disappeared off here for a while after this. I am back now with MANY stories and poems to post, thank you for reading!!! 

Corey Booth……. 18/03/16

Twitter – @CoreyPoetry

Depression

Had to reblog this as I believe its the best thing I have wrote, its also a good way to say “I’M BACK””

CoreyPonders

Depression

Not wanting to live,
But not wanting to die,
Drowning in your own thoughts,
And wanting to cry.
Very low spirited,
Day after day,
Not being able to sleep,
When in bed you lay.
Irritable and impatient,
Feeling full of despair,
Even when you awake,
You’re in a nightmare.
Distancing yourself from others,
And finding it difficult to speak,
Thinking what is the point?
As the future seems bleak.
Wanting to self harm,
Battling with anxiety,
Listening to repetitive thoughts,
While sitting there so silently.
Tired with no energy,
You cant cope with the stress,
You cant make no decisions,
As your mind is a mess.
One in five get depression,
So alone you are not,
And you will get through it,
Even if your mind says you cannot.

A Poem By Corey Booth . . 🙂
Twitter – @CoreyPoetry

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Truth Or Truth – My Life #1

Truth or Truth – My Life #1

Truth or truth,
Here it goes…

Being the best is my philosophy,
I know I’m not but I’ve got to be,
Because in my mind I am the prophecy,
So I guess that’s why I expect a lot of me.
Is that why I’m so down?
Possibly…

For years I have been my families rock,
Absorbing the pain,
I make everything look better,
Like they are the picture,
And I am the frame,
Will I ever be the same?
Have I only got myself to blame…?

I guess there’s only so much one mind can take,
Maybe being that rock was a big mistake,
Didn’t realise how much stress it could make,
Now I see darkness as soon as I awake…
My minds like an earth quake…
That’s high on the richter scale,
Just a useless, idiotic white male,
Tired looking eyes and quite pale,
But I will prevail…
Well that’s what I keep telling myself,
Can’t believe this stress is affecting my health,
I always thought happiness could be bought with wealth,
But it turns out your thoughts are what puts joy in yourself…
And my thoughts are drowning me,
That’s what’s causing the down in me,
What makes it worse is I have a clown in me,
Now I’m here having a breakdown with me..

But I keep telling myself I will get through it,
You know what I will get through it,
People just have to understand and leave me to it,
Because I am the one who has to do,
But I will do it… I promise…

This has been straight from the heart,
From the last line to the very start,
This is not my whole life just a part,
But I hope in my next chapter this wont restart..
Because this has tore me apart…

Thanks for listening,

This truth or truth is mine,
Far from poetic,
Just raw emotion every line…

A Bipolar Point Of View

A BIPOLAR POINT OF VIEW

Bipolar is the name,
That’s what made her flip at her boss,
A conversation so little,
That made her feel so cross,

Her unshared beliefs,
Are what got her in the wrong,
One minute her mind was there,
The next it had gone.

She retreats to her home,
Thoughts racing through her head,
She is anxious and worrying,
Over all the stuff she has said.

At the time it was the correct way,
She was confident she was in the right,
I guess her poor judgement let her down,
Now she hopes it will be alright.

She continues to sit there,
Feeling euphoric and high,
One minute she’s calm and collected,
The next she is wanting to die.

Along with her risky behaviour,
She feels extreme irritability,
Feeling like a loose cannon,
Suicide is a possibility.

She finally heads out of the house,
To get booze and drugs to take away the stress,
At one point she was feeling like a genius,
Now she’s in a mess.

She buys excessively,
On things she don’t even need,
From clothes and toiletries,
To vodka and weed.

She goes back home,
And starts to hear things around her,
She’s starting to panic,
And the noise’s seem to grow louder.

These noises have been caused,
By her increased deficiency of sleep,
And her lack of concentration,
Which has made her mind very weak.

All of a sudden she is back on track,
Analysing what she has done,
Thinking about what she has caused,
And how it can be undone.

She has manic depression,
A character of two sides,
What she says isn’t in her control,
It’s her brain that decides.

A poem by Corey Booth – 30/06/13

Twitter – @CoreyPoetry